Emotional Dilema
by RavenColoredNight
Summary: When Raven looses control of her emotions for a 3rd time, she discovers that maybe hiding all of her emotions is exactly what she shouldn't do. BBxRa
1. Pain

((buwaha! I Actually bothered to FINISH this BEFORE posting ANY chapters! I will do that to all my fanfics now, because I never did finish my others! This is my first finished Teen Titans fanfic, my first finished fan fic ever, really, but it was not my first Teen Titans IDEA. No, I WAS writing another fan fic that sprouted off of an RPG that I started with my 8 year old sister to get her to Role Play with me 'cause I'm a bored geek like that. BUT that RPG included Terra because my sister loves Terra because she's so much like Terra. I don't really like Terra, as you can see I'm a BBxRae fan and Terra just SCREWS IT UP! So I am currently making it so Terra is out of hte picture and it's taking some doing, so it won't be up for a while. Not to mention it is a great deal longer than this short one here. Anyway, enjoy!))  
  
Part One- Pain  
  
Starfire let loose a series of starbolts, blasting at the large purple thing that towered above them. It looked down at her and swatted at the Tamaranian as if she were but a fly. Starfire hit the ground with a 'thud'. "Starfire!" Robin called, running to her to be sure she was all right. "Azarath Metrian Zynthos!" Raven screamed, sending a series of nearby trash cans at the monster. It turned from Star to her and roared in annoyance. Raven held out her hand again. "Azarath Metrian Zyn-"  
  
She gasped as the thing closed it's large hand around her neck, chocking most sound immediantly. She tried desperately to speak, but no word came out. She gasped and sputtered for air as the monster's nails dug into her neck. "Raven!" Beast Boy cried out and Cyborg charged his gun, aiming at the monster's arm. With a burst of energy he released the blast and it hit it's target. The monter roared, but didn't drop Raven. He charged up for another bast.  
  
Raven's eyes grew large as she continued to gasp for air. She felt the pain consume her, radiating from the sharp pains in her throat straight through to her toes. Beast Boy, now a bird, was flying frantically up to her, pecking at the thing's hand when he finnally reached the height. The monster's other hand flicked the bird off and Beast Boy was sent tumbling through the air, flapping frantically to regain altitude. The pain pulsed through Raven's body as her lips moved to take in air that would not come. She felt the tears rush up to her eyes... Fight the pain! Her mind screamed and she tried, but couldn't. The air wasn't coming and the world was begining to spin... Her eyes went black... and the monster screamed.  
  
Black electricity jolted through the monster's limbs, causeing him to stumble back in pain. He still did not let go of Raven. Red cresents appeared on the monster's neck as did several other mysterious cuts caused by seemingly nothing. His skin split all down his arms and legs and the blood oozed down, coursing with black electricity. The monster screamed in utter agony. Still he did not release Raven. Beast Boy tried to fly to her, but was zapped out of his bird form by the energy. Desperately he grabbed at her, his hands closing around her ankles. The electricity flew across his body and he cringed against the pain it caused. He reached up for Raven's limp hand in time to see a cut open up along his arm. He screamed and the monster let go of Raven as it died.  
  
Beast Boy hit the ground with a thud, Raven landing limply on top of him. He grimaced in pain. He could feel the warmth of his blood seep out of a cut on his face, his right arm, his left leg, and now his back as well. "To think..." he muttered out loud "I fight robots, monsters, the HIVE... and the time I get beaten up the worst is because of..." He trailed off as Raven stirred. "Raven! Are you okay?" He asked as Raven tried to sit up. She fell backwards back onto Beast Boy and he cringed again. "Urgh..." She muttered, staring up at the stars for a moment before attempting to sit once more. Beast Boy sat up behind her, supporting her back with an arm. She looked ahead at the dead monster who was still surrounding by it's own wet shining blood... She cringed slightly. "What happened?" She asked. The large cuts didn't look like they were from Cyborg or Starfire's energy attacks. They were also too wide to be from anything of Beast Boy's or Robin's...  
  
"You don't remember, anything?" Beast Boy asked, cringed once again as Raven shifted her weight onto his injured leg. She leaned forward onto her knees, getting off of his leg. She adjusted herself to sit on the ground, sort of facing him. "You're bleeding." She noted aloud in her normal monotone voice and Beast Boy nodded. Should he tell her she did it? How would she react? Best left unsaid, for sure. "Yeah." He answered simply.  
  
"So, what happened?" She asked again. He HAD to tell her now, right? He wouldn't leave her alone until he told her. I mean, she'd know if he lied, right? "Well..." he began nervously. "You kind of..." He nodded his head towards the monster. She looked at the monster silently before attempting to stand. She stumbled a bit, but was otherwise sucessful. "And your wounds?" She asked as Beast Boy stood as well, also stumbling due to his leg. "They'll heal." he said, avoiding the meaning of the question. Raven understood, though, and nodded silently, putting her hood back over her face. Cyborg came over to scan the both of them for any serious injuries. Surprizingly, Raven didn't suffer anything due to oxygen loss. He then scanned Beast Boy.  
  
"Dude, sit back down, you don't need to be standing on that leg." He scolded and Beast Boy plopped down almost thankfuly. It hurt like hell. "We need to get those cuts wrapped up before you loose too much blood." Raven looked back at the monster, taking off her cloak as she did so. She looked down at her cape and used her powers to rip a strip off of the end and then another right after it... and another... and another...  
  
"Will this help?" She asked, floating the pile of bandage-sized cloth strips to Cybrog. Cyborg knelt by Beast Boy and began to wrap the wounds. Raven looked back at the dead monster and Beast Boy watched her in worry. What was she thinking just then?  
  
When they got back to the tower she went directly to her room. She hadn't said a word since the incident. Starfire had been set on the couch where she was stirring softly, assuring the Titans that she was just sleeping. Robin was sitting beside her on the couch and Cyborg ran one more scan. Assuring Robin that she was fine, Cyborg went over to Beast Boy, who was sitting at the counter just kind of staring into space.  
  
"Hey, man, are you okay?" He asked, resting a hand on the green boy's shouler. "Yeah." Beast Boy said, taking a sip of his soda. "It'll heal." He assured Cyborg and he nodded, walking over to fridge to get his own soda. Beast Boy drained the last sip of carbonated goodness before standing shakily. His leg still hurt, in fact it hurt even more than it did before now that the adrenaline wore off, but he stood anyway. Figuring that maybe he should clean and re-dress his wounds, he went to go try and take a shower.  
  
The water stung as it hit the open wounds and he watched the reddened water swirl down the drain. He couldn't stop thinking about Raven. Was she okay, I mean, after loosing control and all? Would he have to go back into her head again and pry her out of the hands of some other mosnter now? He kinda hoped not, though he would. "She should be all right. She's a strong girl, she can handle it." He told himself as he twisted the shower off and reached out for a towel. He managed to wrap his arm and bandage his face just fine, but when he bent over to wrap his leg a pain shot up his back reminding him of that injury as well. He pulled on his ripped pants and stubled out to the living room. "Yo, Cy, a little help here?" He said comicly with a grin and Cyborg nodded, helping him bandage his back and leg.  
  
Starfire had already woken up and she and Robin were talking on the couch. Beast Boy watched them in the reflection of the TV as he drank another soda. He sighed out of boredom. "Man, all this junk is soooooo depressing!" He said, resting his head on the counter. "It's like someone died or something."  
  
"Wanna play a video game?" Cyborg asked with a shrug. Beast Boy watched Starfire lean in as Robin wrapped an arm around her. "Yeah, I do, but..."  
  
"The lovebirds?" Cyborg asked and Beast Boy nodded, sipping his soda.  
"Go get a room!" Cyborg yelled and Starfire squeaked in surprise. Robin choked on air in embarrasment. "The TV," Cyborg announced to Beast Boy, "Is now ours."  
  
After hours of video gaming, Raven still hadn't left her room. It was getting late, so maybe she was just asleep? After convincing himself of this, and being beaten Cyborg for the 5th time much, to his dismay, Beast Boy and the others all decided to retire.  
  
Beast Boy tossed and turned on his bed. His back hurt him too much to lay on it, and his arm wouldn't let him sleep on his right side, where as his leg prevented him from sleeping on the left. Annoyed, he finnaly turned himself into a dog, stretching himself out onto his belly. After several more annoying moments of unrest, he heaved himslef out of the bed and changed back into his human form. He stumbled out of his room and made his way to the kitchen. When he flipped on the light, he was surprised to find someone already sitting there.  
  
The smell of herbal tea floated over to him as he looked to see Raven sitting at the counter, sipping from her tea cup. She didn't look up. Beast Boy got himself a soda and sat next to her. "Why can't you get a soda like every other teen in the world?" He asked her, looking at the tea in her glass. "Because, green tea is an antitoxidant, cleansing the body of all harmful chemicals. The green tea also contains flouride, promoting healthy teeth and favorable breath. Not to mention that the chamomile and mint promote relaxation of both the body and the mind. Soda just creates air bubbles and a caffine or sugar induced rush." She took another sip of tea and still did not look up. Beast Boy shrugged and opened his soda, taking a sip.  
  
"So... what are you doing up this late?" Beast Boy asked.  
  
"I should ask you the same."  
  
"Nuh-uh, I asked you first."  
  
"I was meditating and everything got quiet. I thought I'd take a nice relaxing break in pure silence."  
  
"Uh... is that a hint?"  
  
Raven took another sip of her tea, still not looking up at Beast Boy. "Yes." She said simply and Beast Boy made pretend he got slapped, though it didn't matter since she wasn't watching. "Ouch, that was harsh." He said, sipping his soda. "And yet you remain." Raven pointed out, sipping her tea.  
  
"I was worried about you today, you know? You just kinda walked off without a word. I tried to imagine what you were thinking, but that's not easy, even for someone who's been in your mind."  
  
"Good. I'd hate to know that you of all people could tell what I was thinking." Raven said, sipping her tea again.  
  
"But it worried me. Are you all right, now?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. I never was -not- fine."  
  
Beast Boy sipped his soda. "Oh, okay."  
  
Everything grew silent. Raven finished her tea and stared at the stray leaves in the bottom. Beast Boy leaned over her shoulder and joined in looking at them. "Can you read them?" He asked and Raven shrugged. "Sometimes a little bit." She continued to look at the bottom of the cup. "Can you read them now?" He asked and Raven shook her head, but continued to stare. "I think you can." Beast Boy said. "No I can't." Raven said, still not looking up. "Tell me what it says." Raven sighed.  
  
"Struggle, change, and emotional distress. Tell me something I don't know." She stood up to put her glass into the sink. "Not very good, huh?" Beast Boy asked, looking at his soda without drinking it this time. "No, it's pretty much what I get every time. Nothing new." She rinsed her cup out and set it in the sink with a sigh. She still hadn't looked at Beast Boy. "I think I'll go to bed now." She announced as she began to walk off. "Hey, wait!" Beast Boy said, standing and snagging her shoulder with the hand of his bandaged arm. She stopped and lifted her hand up to his, resting her fingers on the bandage and turning to him for the first time that night.  
  
"I'm sorry." She whispered, running her fingers lightly over he bandage a moment before drawing her hand back. She touched the bandage on his cheek just as lightly. "It's all right, it'll heal." He said as he lifted his hand to touch hers. She pulled her hand back quickly. "But I don't even remember doing it." She said softly, though it was loud enough in the silence. "I know, exactly why I don't blame you." She shook her head. "It's exactly why I must meditate more. It WAS my fault, my fault for loosing control. That's the 3rd time now! First I lost control of anger ((Nevermore)), then fear((Fear Itself)), and now pain. I have to take more responsibility over my emotions."  
  
"Did you ever think that maybe they explode because you let them build? You know, like some weird volcano... BOOM!" Beast Boy made this comical display of a volcano with his arms. Raven was silent. "Ha! You never though about that, did ya? I said something smart, admit it!" Raven shook her head. "And what do you suggest I do? Express them and break everything in the house?"  
  
"Well, no, but express them just a little, not so much that you're breaking things, but not blocking them. Now admit it, I AM smart!" Raven shook her head again.  
  
"You don't understand."  
"You're afraid to admit I'm right is all."  
"Shut up, you really don't understand. I'm going to bed now."  
  
She turned back around and began to walk out. Beast Boy plopped back down into his seat. "Aw man! That means I'll have no one to talk to!" He whined and Raven shrugged. "Try going to sleep." Beast Boy stuck his tongue out at her turned back and sipped his soda again. It was begining to go flat. He sighed. What now?  
  
((Okay, what do you think? Don't review yet! Read the other chapters FIRST because it IS a finished fic! Yay!)) 


	2. Expression

((OMG! I Love this chapter, it's so... funny! Absolutely CUTE! If at one point in time you do not laugh, giggle, or even giggle in your mind, then I shall spontaneously combust for your entertainment.))  
  
Chapter Two- Expression  
  
Raven sat down and fixed herself a cup of tea from her tea dispenser for breakfast. She brought the cup up to her lips and took a sip. She spit the liquid back out in shock.  
  
"BEAST BOY!!!!!!!!" She yelled as she stood up to pour the soda out into the sink. Beast Boy opened the fridge in search of tofu before standing up and grinning at her. "Why did you put soda in my tea dispenser?" She said in a very aggravated tone. "Because I thought it'd be funny for you to drink something normal." He said, shutting the fridge after pulling out the soy milk.  
  
"Oh, and your soy milk is normal?"  
  
Beast Boy froze, thought about it, and poured himself a glass. "Well, you have to admit, your reaction was hillarious."  
  
"Remind me to replace your soy milk with REAL milk, then."  
"No way! You've never BEEN a cow! You don't understand!"  
"And you've never had tea."  
  
Beast Boy smiled with an idea. "Okay then, a challenge. I'll drink a cup of tea if you will drink a cup of soda." Raven blinked and rolled her eyes. "What, too chicken to drink a simple cup of soda?" He turned into a chicken and danced across the breakfast table, clucking. Raven pulled a soda out of the fridge and the tea out of the cabinet. She fixed a cup of the tea and opened the soda. She handed the tea to Beast Boy and took the soda for herself.  
  
"You're on." She challenged.  
  
They both started at the same time, except Beast Boy put the cup down quickly exclaiming that it was too hot. Raven didn't even break for a breath as she drank the soda, swallowing the entire bottle. She slammed the empty bottle onto the table before Beast Boy had recovered from his burnt tongue. Beast Boy sipped the tea slower this time and it helped. When the tea cooled he began to guzzle it like Raven had done the soda.  
  
Buuurp!  
  
Raven slapped her hand over her mouth as Beast Boy hit the floor laughing.  
  
"Okay, I did your stupid burp" She covered her mouth again and Beast Boy rolled in even more laughter.  
  
The other Titans filtered in one by one. Each gave an odd look to the duo, except Starfire who looked more confused. Raven put her hand down and frowned at Beast Boy in preparation of an evil glare.  
Burp!  
Raven slapped her hand over her mouth again and everyone turned to her.  
  
"Raven had a Hahaha! Soda! Hahahaha!" Beast Boy explained between laughs. Everyone kind of shrugged as if to say 'So? Can't a teen drink a soda?' before realizing WHO he was talking about. They all turned back to Raven.  
  
"Really? Did you like the pop of soda, Raven?" Starfire asked.  
"I hated it." She said without burping this time.  
  
Beast Boy heaved himself off of the ground with the aid of a chair.  
  
"Aw, c'mon, you know you want another. You completely guzzled it! You know you like it!"  
  
Raven glared at Beast Boy and he began laughing again. Raven made a cup of tea and placed it in front of the laughing Beast Boy before walking over to the fridge and pulling out another soda. Beast Boy quit laughing and looked at the cup of tea and groaned. "But my tongue is still burnt from that stuff!" He whined.  
  
"If you want to see me drink another soda, you have to drink more tea."  
  
Beast Boy looked at the cup and picked it up.  
  
"Bring it on! The first person to deny a cup of the other person's drink looses!" He said and everyone kind of edges out of the kitchen to watch the battle from afar. Raven made 9 more cups of tea and took out 9 more sodas so they each had 10 to drink.  
  
"On the count of three!" Cyborg announced, appointing himself referee and announcer of the event. "One, Two, Three!"  
  
Beast Boy and Raven picked up their respective drinks and began chugging.  
  
"Oh and Raven is halfway done with the soda already! But Beast Boy is catching up! Oh look, he finished first! But what's this? He seems to be in pain! Maybe the tea was too hot? Raven is on her second soda while Beast Boy is still recovering. Will Beast Boy give up? NO! He's started his second cup of tea!" Cyborg announced.  
  
"Go Raven! Drink the pop of soda!" Starfire cheered.  
  
"Go Beast Boy! You can beat her!" Robin cheered.  
  
"You do not wish Raven to win?" Starfire asked Robin as if hurt.  
  
"Oh, and Raven has just finished the THIRD soda! Hurry up Beast Boy! That's it! And they are onto fourths and both are begining to look a little green... oh wait, Beat Boy is always green! But he still looks sick, look at how he's slowed the tea intake! And Raven is faltering in her soda to soda pass, they are both loosing momentum. But still they go to their 5th, their 6th! Now they really look sick! Beast Boy looks like he's going to hurl! And Raven, oh no!"  
  
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp!  
  
Raven covered her mouth for a second before going onto her 7th soda.  
  
"I give that burp a perfect 10! Not bad for a first timer!" Cyborg scored as Beast Boy slowly picked up his 7th cup of tea.  
  
"Oh man, Beast Boy looks like he's going to get sick any minute now and Raven's still going strong. She's already on the 8th soda! Drink Beast Boy, drink! Oh and Beast Boy is kind of staring at his 8th cup, will he loose to a girl? No! He heaves that cup to his lips and finished it! But Raven's already started her 10th soda! Beast Boy starts his 9th, his 10th. It all comes down to this, folks! They both did it! But Beast Boy... oh no! Run cheeta-boy run!"  
  
Beast Boy changed into a cheeta and ran to the bathroom almost immediantly. Sounds of illness were heard from the bathroom and Cyborg held Raven's hand above her head.  
  
"And the winner is: Raven!"  
  
Bbuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpp pppppppp!  
  
Raven covered her mouth and Starfire began to laugh joyously.  
  
When Beast Boy re-entered he took one look at the teacups and cringed.  
  
"I'm never drinking tea again." He said with a groan and he collasped into the chair in defeat. He looked up at Raven, to find her smiling slightly in her victory. he perked up. "Oh but it was worth it! You're smiling! Ha ha! Go Beast Boy, Go Beast Boy, you made her smile, oh yeah, Go Beast Boy, Go Beast Boy!"  
  
Raven shook her head. "Whatever."  
  
"Does anyone care to join me in eating my home made glorg?" Starfire announced as she pulled the giant green Jell-O mold out of the fridge.  
  
"Not exactly. The soda, I'm still getting used to it." Raven said, not really lying as she forced back another burp.  
  
Everyone else cringed and replied a negative. Starfire looked dissapointed, but began to ate the glorg anyway. She stuck her fork into the things and screamed as it yelped in pain. Red ooze gushed from the odd Jell-O mold.  
  
"But Glorg is a fungus, not an animal!" Starfire exclaimed as she removed her fork. Then the glorg moved and she screamed again, this time blasting it. Everyone cringed in disgust as they ducked to avoid flying living pieces of glorg.  
  
"Now I really feel sick." Beast Boy said.  
  
Buuuuurp!  
  
"I am never drinking soda again."  
  
"Aw C'mon, you loved it and you know you did!"  
  
Halfway between breakfast time and lunch time, after the glorg had been cleaned up and properly buried, Raven became restless. Beast Boy watched her pace the kitchen before getting herself a cup of tea. She took one sip of the hot liquid before tapping her foot impatiently. Then she resumed pacing.  
  
"Dude, Rae, what's up?" He asked as she tried sitting down again only to tap her fingers and foot.  
  
"I don't know, I just can't sit still." She responded and Cyborg did a scan before bursting out laughing.  
  
"Hey Beast Boy, get this, Raven is suffering from caffine overload!" He said with another burst of laughter. Beast Boy hit the floor laughing as Raven experimented with how far a chair would really rock. Then she stood up, grabbed Beast Boy by his shirt collar, and growled. "I am soooo going to kill you for this!" She threatened and Beast Boy just laughed more.  
  
"What, can't meditate?" He asked in between a loud fit of laughter. She dropped Beast Boy and growled, pacing the kitchen again. "Not funny, Beast Boy!" She yelled. She tried to sit and drink her tea again. She ended up rocking in the chair again so she stood back up and began to pace once more.  
  
After lunch the caffine rush wore off, leading to the enevitable crash. Beast Boy found Raven crashed at the table, head rested beside her cup of tea. As he began laughing, he shook her to wake up.  
  
"Dude, drink another soda or something." he suggested as she opened her exhausted eyes and glared at Beast Boy.  
  
"It was your STUPID soda that CAUSED this!" She yelled and Beast Boy made an 'eep!' of terror as he fled the angry gaze of Raven.  
  
That night Cyborg and Beast Boy were arguing as they entered the Tower upon returning from the video store.  
  
"I TOLD you Cyborg, this is way crazier than some STUPID sci-fi! I mean, really, WICKED SCARY 2!!!! You cannot tell me you don't want to see it!"  
  
"After what happened after the FIRST Wicked Scary? I REALLY don't want to see it!" Cyborg responded with a cringe.  
  
"Look at the summary, though! 'Just when you thought you were safe! The monster has returned and he's scarier than ever! You can't run, you can't hide, but you CAN scream. Not that it'll do you any good, but you can. Prepare yourself for WICKED SCARY 2!!!" Beast Boy shivered with excitement. "This is going to ROCK!"  
  
Starfire yelped when she saw the movie cover. "Did we not experience enough Wicked Scary last time?"  
  
"Don't worry, Star." Raven said. "I'll control Fear this time."  
  
Beast Boy rolled his eyes. "Suuuuure you will. Did you hear me read the summary? He's SCARIER THAN EVER!" He made weird ghost noises that caused Raven to roll her eyes.  
  
"Just play it."  
  
Halfway into the movie, Raven jumped and slapped her hand over her mouth, eyes wide. Starfire was strangling Robin to death from fear. Cyborg had buried his head in his hands. Even Beast Boy jumped, grabbing the arm of the closest person to him. This person being Raven. Raven was watching the screen, too petrified to notice.  
  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" The next victim scream and Starfire began to cry as Cyborg covered his ears and closed his eyes tight. "Turn it off! Turn it off!" They both screamed at the same time. Robin choked out something as he tried to escape Starfire's death grasp.  
  
Raven and Beast Boy both jumped at the same time. Beast Boy wrapped both his arms around hers and she slapped both of her hand over her mouth as the randomly coffee table collapsed. Everyone jumped at screamed at the sudden noise and all the cabinets in the kitchen behind them flew open. Everyone screamed again and glasses began to simply drop from the shelves on their own.  
  
Beast Boy turned into a cat and leaped onto Raven's lap, clinging to her cape with his claws. Raven was still petrified, staring at the screen with her hands over her mouth. When glass successfully covered the kitchen floor, the next victim was set up for the kill... the monster closed in and...  
  
"AAAAAHHH!!!!!!!"  
  
With a loud "POP!" the TV suddenly went black, smoking. There was another group scream before several relieved sighs.  
  
"Well, I'm glad that's over." Cyborg said, removing his hands from his ears. "Dude, Scaredy Cat, it's off, the TV broke." He told the green kitten in Raven's lap. Beast Boy turned human... still in Raven's lap.  
  
Raven sighed with relief that it was over and then glared up at Beast Boy. "Out of my lap, now." She said coldly and Beast Boy slid out of her lap reluctantly. Raven looked around the house... Broken coffee table, a whole cabinet full of glasses, AND the television itself. She must've been pretty scared.  
  
"Sorry about that, guys." She apologized and Starfire finnally released Robin. "Thank goodness Raven! Thank you sooo much! I thought I'd die of fright before the movie's end!"  
  
Beast Boy began laughing hysterically. "Did I tell you or did I tell you? You were SUPER scared, Raven! BIG TIME!"  
  
"Speak for yourself, scardey cat."  
  
"Hey, Cyborg already used that joke!"  
  
"It's not my fault you turned into a cat, you left it wide open."  
  
"Hey, the good thing is I got to sit in your lap."  
  
"I'm guessing that this is considered good because now you know exactly how you're going to die?"  
  
Robin yawned and Starfire screamed again. "No no! It cannot be bedtime! I do not wish to sleep, I fear the dark! I'm so scared, ROBIN!" She clung to him again. "May I sleep in your bed tonight, Robin? I do not wish to sleep alone, I'm utterly petrified!"  
"Yes Starfire, you can, just quit choking me!" He sputtered out and Starfire released him thankfully.  
"Oh Thank you thank you thank you!" She said joyously and Robin rubbed his neck.  
  
That night Raven awoke screaming. Beast Boy practically jumped out of his bed when the noise broke through the silence of Titan tower. Starfire screamed in a chain reaction and you could hear Robin go "Argh!" from down the hall.  
  
Beast Boy crept down the hall and opened the door to Raven's room a crack, tranforming into a kitten before entering.  
  
"Mreow!" He greeted cheerfully, taking note of the broken statue in the corner. Raven jumped, but then saw Beast Boy and relaxed, rolling her eyes. "Beast Booooy..." she groaned in annoyance. Beast Boy tunred back into his human form. "What?" Raven crossed her arms and glared. "Out of my room."  
  
"You are still scared!" He teased, sitting on the edge of her bed.  
  
"So what? Get OUT!"  
  
"Nope, what if you have nightmares again? OooooOOooo!" he said, mocking a ghost voice. Raven rolled her eyes and pushed him off of her bed so he hit the floor... hard.  
  
"Oouch!" He cried out, rolling over onto his back and grabbing his hurt leg. "OUCH!" He cried out again after rolling over onto his still injured back. "OwowowowowowowowowOW!" He repeated, rolling helplessly on the floor for a few minutes before Raven realized what had happened and grabbed his uninjured hand to help him up.  
  
"What're you trying to do, kill me?" He asked in a half-way comical tone. Raven didn't think it was funny. She frowned and looked away as he plopped himself back onto her bed. Beast Boy realized what he just said and internally kicked himself for the comment. "I didn't mean it, you know I joke around a lot. Hey Raven, you all right? I swear I was only joking!" She didn't respond and didn't look at him.  
  
"The monster was me..." she said lightly and Beast Boy blinked in confusion.  
  
"Come again?"  
  
"In my nightmare. The monster was me."  
  
Beast Boy sighed. "Count on me to say something stupid and bring it up, huh?"  
  
"You were going to ask me what me dream was about anyway, right?"  
  
"Well, yeah."  
  
"Then shut up and listen before your abnormally large and loud mouth causes any more damage."  
  
There was utter silence for several minutes that made Beast Boy nervous.  
  
"I dreamt that I woke up to a scream. When I went to go investigate, I found no one. So, I went into the basement. And there it was with all of you guys with it. Except..." she trailed off and took a deep breath, as if telling herself 'you can do this, Raven.'  
  
"Continue." Beast Boy said as is giving her permission. She gave him a slight glare. "Didn't I tell you to shut up?" She took another deep breath.  
  
"Except you all were dead and it... It was me. I didn't realize it at first, but when I got closer... and I looked down at my hands and... it was me... it was me..." She choked on her words and put her hand over her mouth. Beast Boy looked up at her, she looked like she was about to cry. She was shaking, forcing back her tears. He rested a hand on her shoulder and she made a small attempt to shrug it off, but he didn't think she really meant it.  
  
"It was only a dream, Raven."  
  
"No, you don't understand..."  
  
"It was just a nightmare."  
  
"But I've been loosing control of my emotions lately..."  
  
"It was just a nightmare caused by a stupid movie I made everyone watch, it's my fault."  
  
"You don't get it! You of all people should! I mean look at you! You're still getting over what I did last time!" She touched his bandaged arm lightly. "What if I did worse next time?"  
  
He wrapped his arms around her, much to Raven's shock, and she stiffened when he did. He pulled her to his chest and she buried her head into his shoulder, letting herself cry lightly. She felt his hand run through her hair comfortingly. "It'll be okay, Raven. I promise you, it will be okay."  
  
When she pulled back her eyes were red and several of her books had randomly hopped off of their shelves. Beast Boy lifted a hand to wipe away the wetness that still lingered on her cheeks. She jumped at his touch and pulled herself fully away from him, pulling the covers up to her chin.  
  
"You should go." She told him lightly and he shook his head in defiance.  
  
"No way! I'm not leaving until I KNOW that you are sleeping peacefully." He said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Fine." Raven muttered, laying back onto her pillow and curling up onto her side. Beast Boy boy layed down beside her, pulling the covers over himself and wrapping his arms around her. She jumped and stiffened, opening her eyes to glare at Beast Boy. "OUT of MY BED!" She snapped. "What, Starfire and Robin are in a bed together, and Cyborg has a teddy bear, I looked, it's pretty funny... I mean, why not?"  
  
"Because it's MY bed and you're not ALLOWED in my bed."  
  
"Hey, I'll get out as soon as you fall asleep. Would you rather me be an animal? Kitten?" He turned ino a kitten and mewed. "A puppy?" He turned into a puppy and yiped. "A raven?" He turned into a raven and then back into a human, laughing at his corny joke.  
  
"NOT funny." Raven scolded and Beast Boy gave the puppy dog eyes... complete with puppy.  
  
"Fine, but ONLY if you get out AS SOON as I fall asleep, do you here me? I would rather NOT awaken to your face staring at me. That would be scarier than a nightmare."  
  
"Ouch, harsh." he muttered, though he muttered it happily as he wrapped his arms back around Raven.  
  
"Don't TOUCH me!"  
  
"But you said..."  
  
"That you could be in the bed, not touch me!"  
  
"Aw, c'mon!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
Beast Boy sighed in disappointment and Raven rolled over so her back was to him. After a long silence, Beast Boy was assured she was asleep.  
  
"I wonder what she's dreaming?" he asked the air. "Oh well, I guess I better go to my own bed now, huh?" He heaved himself off of the bed, walked past where her mysterious mirror lay, and paused. "That thing is still super creepy." He noted to himself before a large pink arm reached out and grabbed him, pulling him into Raven's mind.  
  
((PINK arm? Okay, if you guys don't know who it is, watch Nevermore over and over until you either figure it out or it hypnotizes you like one of Mad Mod's screens.)) 


	3. Love

((This chapter is... well, read to find out! I ran over this chapter in my mind so many times, except some times Raven was more violent or Rose was too persistent... one extreme or another, basically. I think I caught it in the middle.  
  
Chapter Three- Love  
  
Happy hugged Beast Boy enthusiastically. "Welcome back! I'm sooooo glad you came back! I really am! I have someone you should meet! She wasn't here before, ya know? You didn't get to meet her, but she's reeeaaallly neat and she knows ALL about you! She's been begging to see you ALL DAY LONG and I'm so glad you're here!" Beast Boy staggered to regian his balance as Happy dropped him, grabbing his hand instead.  
"Come see her! Varoooooom!"  
  
Happy mad airplane noises as she dragged Beast Boy stumbling through the flower field.  
  
"Her cloak is kinda like mine, only not so pink, it's more like, ROSE! I love roses! She's sooooo nice! Not at all like rude or timid. She's pretty strong, too! Wait till you meet her, she'll be SOOO HAPPY which is silly because I am happy!"  
  
Happy Raven shoved Beast Boy forward suddenly and he tripped and fell into the field of flowers.  
  
"Ooooh! There she is! Lookie lookie! You should've seen it, Raven's been in and out ALL DAY bugging her, poor girl. It's 'cause she's strong, ya know? Raven's afraid she'll get out like anger, fear, and pain already did!"  
  
Beast Boy heaved himself up out of the flowers and looked to see a rose colored Raven standing in the field staring at the stars in the sky. She looked so lonely, was that what emotion she was?  
  
"Yoooohooo! Rose! Look who I've got! Now you can be happy, which is silly 'cause I'M happy!" Rose looked over and saw Beast Boy half hidden by the tall flowers.  
  
"Beast Boy!" Rose cried out, practically diving ontop of him. "When did YOU get here?" She asked, hugging him tightly to her. Beast Boy blinked.  
  
"Okay, this is just super wierd. And... OW!" He screamed as Rose hugged him too tight and hurt his injured back.  
  
"Omigosh! I'm so sorry!" She cried out apologetically. "It's all right." Beast Boy assured and Rose smiled. "I'm glad."  
  
"So... what emotion are you?" Beast Boy asked in confusion.  
  
"I can't tell you."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Raven won't let me say. Raven hates me, she scares me."  
  
"Even though you kinda ARE her?"  
  
"I'm not necesarry, though." She said shaking her head. "I'm new and replacable, she could kill me and nothing would change. If she could kill me, which I'm sure she could if she really wanted to."  
  
"Gee, Raven really hates you THAT much? Are you Loneliness?"  
  
Rose shook her head and sighed. "I want you to know." She said softly, her hand touching his cheek lightly. She brought her other hand up to his other cheek until all her fingertips rested lightly onto his skin. His face turned pink and then red, which is odd for someone who's green. "Urhm, mysterious part of Raven, what are you doing?" Rose leaned in, her face edging closer... And then suddenly she was forcefully jerked back. Rose cried out in pain, grabbing at her hair which was being held by the real Raven.  
  
"I TOLD YOU TO STAY DOWN LIKE ALL THE OTHERS!" Raven yelled and Rose squeaked as Raven let her hair go. Rose stood shakily and looked at Beast Boy. "AND YOU!" Raven yelled, turning to Beast Boy as well. "WHY ARE YOU IN MY MIND!?" Rose squeaked agian and grabbed Raven's hand. "Yelling at him won't solve anything!" She protested and Raven's hand came around to slap her off of her arm. Rose hit the flower bed with another yelp as Raven turned to her. "BUT YELLING AT YOU WILL!" Raven hollered and Beast Boy grabbed her hand to get her to stop.  
  
"Raven! She didn't do anything, I swear, I don't even know what emotion she is! Happy brought me here when I passed the mirror, but she didn't mean any harm! Quit yelling!"  
  
Raven turned to Beast Boy and removed her hand from his. She took one last glance at Rose before turning and crossing her arms. "Get out of my mind NOW, Beast Boy!" She said, her voice still raised slightly.  
  
"No!" Rose cried. "I finally get time with Beast Boy and you take him away! You can't do that to me! It's MY TURN with Beast Boy! MINE!" She stood up and walked over to Beast Boy as Raven spun back around.  
  
"You get away from him." She hissed demandingly and Rose frowned in defiance.  
  
"Make me!"  
  
"I will!"  
  
Rose quickly turned to Beast Boy, throwing her arms around him and pulling his lips to hers. The kiss only lasted a moment before Raven snatched her off of him and tossed her back to the ground.  
  
"You're Love!" Beast Boy blurted out, pointing to Rose. "Wait, then that means... Oh. Well. That explains a lot."  
  
Raven looked at him with wide eye before hitting her knees and burying her head into her hands. Beast Boy dropped down in front of her, reaching out to lay a hand on her shoulder. Raven jumped back, though, shrugging off his hand.  
  
"Go away! Get out of m head! NOW!"  
  
Beast Boy grabbed both of her hands and pulled them away from her face. She was crying, tears running down her cheeks in rivers. In the background Timid began to walk forward, but Happy held her back and slammed her hand over her mouth. The tears quit flowing down Raven's cheeks, but still remained there, shimmering in her eyes.  
  
"Raven..." He whispered lightly. "Out." She responded. "Now."  
  
Beast Boy was pushed out of her mind before he could think, landed flat onto his bottom on the floor.  
  
"Omigosh! Are you all right?" Raven's voice came from the bed as she awoke and ran over to him. Beast Boy stood and rubbed his butt. "I'm fine." He muttered, confused. "Good, I'm glad." Raven said, smiling. A nearby statue cracked. "Raven are you-" He was going to say 'okay', but the last word got lost as Raven's lips pressed against his. The statue fully shattered this time and several books spontaneously combusted, their exploded remains floating softly to the ground.  
  
Beast Boy pulled away. Something wasn't right... "Love?" Raven nodded with a smile. "Yup! While she was acting all upset, I took my chance! Isn't that great?"  
  
"What happened to the real Raven?"  
  
"Oh, she's sulking somewhere in Timid's world I think. It could be a while before she even bothers trying to come back. Timid will probably convince her that everything is pointless or something depressing like that."  
  
"But I want the REAL Raven to come back!"  
  
"I'm a lot more fun, don't ya think?" She asked with a grin as she pressed her lips against his once more. Beast Boy pulled away and shook his head. "Okay, lay off, this is SUPER CREEPY." Raven sniffled in dissapointment. "But I love you! That means that Raven loves you too! That means it's okay, right?" Beast Boy sighed and shook his head again. "Somehow I seriously doubt that. Let Raven come back."  
  
"I'm not stopping her, she just hasn't tried to come back yet. Like I said, she's sulking. It could be a while. Wanna go on a date while she's gone? It'll be fun!"  
  
"I would, if it were Raven asking, but when just a part of her asks I feel like I shouldn't."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I feel like that's kind of cheating, sneaking out behind her back, you know?"  
  
"But I am what she feels, so why is it wrong?"  
  
"Because you aren't EVERYTHING Raven feels. I can't go out with just one emotion, I have to accept them all." Beast Boy blinked at his words. "Okay, that was too deep for my own good."  
  
Raven frowned. "But... oh, all right, fine... but if Raven never lets me out again and you NEVER get another chance at a date or kiss again, just know it's ALL YOUR FAULT!"  
  
With that Raven collapsed into Beast Boy's arms... apparently asleep.  
  
"Raven?" He asked, shaking her lightly. "Heeellooo, Raven? Earth to Raven?"  
  
Raven muttered something, more than likely a death threat, under her breath. Beast Boy shook her again.  
  
"Yo, Rae, up ya go. C'mon, wake up now." Raven opened one eye and then both. "What now?" She growled, standing up on her own as Beast Boy let her go. "Maybe we should get a headstart on breakfast?" He asked her and she shook her head, rubbing her eyes. "I'm going back to be, do what you will." She said, plopping down into her bed and rolling over. Beast Boy plopped down beside her and wrapped her arms around her and she jumped. "You said 'do what you will', did you not?" Beast Boy said and Raven groaned, but gave in.  
  
Little did she know that she was smiling in her defeat. 


	4. Emotional Dilemma

((Okay, Last chapter. This entire story turned out SOOOO much fluffier than I thought, really. It was supposed to be more of a tug and pull with emotions, but whatever.))  
  
Chapter Four- Emotional Dilemma  
  
She woke up to Starfire shaking her.  
  
"Raven Raven! You must see what Beast Boy has done!" She cried out and Raven bolted up. "Great, what did the idiot do this time?"  
  
She quickly threw on her cloak and stormed downstairs, leaving Starfire giggling in her room.  
  
Cyborg had set up the spare television already. Raven hadn't realized how late she had slept, it was passed noon. On the new set up TV, which was now obviously also connected to the computer, was a brand new screen saver. She watched the slide show of images play before her eyes and groaned.  
  
There, on the screen were little drawings, obviously done by Beast Boy on the computer.  
  
First was Happy.  
Then Timid.  
Then Anger.  
Then Fear.  
Then Pain.  
Then Brave.  
Then Rude.  
Then Smart.  
Then Love...  
After which the words "Will You Go Out With Me?" were written. Everyone was gathered around the television set talking, including Star who had returned to the living room as well. Raven smacked her forehead.  
  
"You couldn't have just walked up to me and asked me like a normal guy?" She asked him in annoyance and Beast Boy smiled. "Heeeeellooooo, I'm not just a normal guy!" He said as-a-matter-of-fact-ly. Raven rolled her eyes and walked up to him, looking around at the others. They were all watching eagerly.  
  
"This is none of your business, could you show some respect?" Raven scolded and everyone turned around and began whistling... except for Starfire who couldn't whistle. One sure that no one was peeking, she pecked Beast Boy on the cheek. "I'll take that as a yes?" Beast Boy asked and Raven nodded, blushing.  
  
"Okay, Cy, you can take the screen saver off now."  
"No." Raven objected. "What I mean is... I have to except that I have feelings, too. Just because I have to limit them, doesn't mean I should forget them. Maybe the screen saver could serve as a reminder... of my emotional dilema." She smiled lightly and went to fix herself a cup of tea... Beast Boy cringed when he smelt the tea and Raven cringed when he opened a soda.  
  
"How do you drink that stuff?" They both asked at the same time. Beast Boy burst out laughing and Raven shook her head, sipping her tea. Inside she was laughing... but she'd never show it. She had a feeling Beast Boy knew, though, and that was good enough.  
  
End.  
  
((SO there's my first finished fic! What do ya think? Good, Bad, Wonderful, Horrible? NOW you can comment! Well, what are you waiting for? COMMENT!)) 


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